Transexual Man - Buck Angel FTM Pornstar

Hi Buck,
For a while now, I've been thinking about emailing you but I know how busy you are. But today I thought fuck it! Better off out my system and to share my story. Please don't worry, it's a good email :)
I have always admired you as a person. You do so much for people who are transgendered, who are gay/lesbian/bisexual and also for other charities and causes. A bit about myself. I'm 24, living in Brighton, UK. My dad is gay and I've known this since I was 12. Even though my parents are no longer together, they are still the best of friends and they are actually closer now then they were when they were still living together. My dad isn't open about his sexuality as his side of the family disagree with it and no one in his side of the family know. Yet now, he introduces his friends to my mum and my mum loves that! Myself and my sister have always been raised and told to accept people as their are, not what their are. And I still believe that. Especially now that I love in Brighton, which is known as UK's gay capital, I have met so many great and wonderful people and that's why I love Brighton (if you haven't been here, you definitely should in your next UK trip! You would love it and you will be greatly welcomed!).
My point in sharing my story and wanting to email you is to thank you personally for what you have done and continue to do. I have watched your films and some of them are quite naughty ;) I love all of your work - whether it's your films, photoshoots, media and press but also what you do for human rights and also animal rights. Not many people do that as a whole and you do such a great job of it.
Again, I hope you don't mind me emailing you as I know you're a busy man but like I said, I've always wanted to email you at some point and today is the day.
Thanks for everything you do darling.
Much love,

Hi Buck! How are you? My congratulations for your wonderful website and your movies! Could I ask you a question? I'm a bisexual boy (23 years old) from Seville (Spain) I was wondering if you are "available" 4 real sexual contacts too. It would be a dream 4 me to make real sex with you but I understand I'm far far away from you and there could be complications... I wait 4 your response! Thank you so much and sorry If I disturbed you... byeeeeeeeeee

Hi Buck,

I'm sure you get plenty of emails telling you this - well, clearly - but I thought I'd throw in my appreciation-cents too.

I am a transsexual gay male. I'm really in the early stages of transitioning - I haven't had a session with a therapist of any sort yet, apart from a screening with a psychotherapist (I'm transitioning care of the National Health Service here in Britain). Nevertheless, I've been 'out' and living as male for the most part among most of my family and friends since November of 2008. I've always had a dream to be a male model, though I really doubt I'm good looking enough, and I love the photos I've seen of you. It's been inspirational.

When I decided to transition, I had one major concern: "bottom" surgery. My problem was that I didn't like the options available or the possibility of losing sensation for something that just wasn't for me. I respect other transmen who have metoidio/phalloplasty, it's their choice, but I always get frustrated when they (or non-trans people) assume I'm also planning to have one of these surgeries. I dunno how to say to them that I'm comfortable with my gear and using it with men; I started feeling like a bit of a madman. Then I came across you and other transmen who haven't had genital reconstruction, who were open and proud of their decision to forego it - for whatever reason - and I felt much more confident and comfortable about my own feelings.

So, thanks for being who you are, despite all the grief you must get from small-minded persons (trans and non-trans). You're a great man with a fuckin' fabulous body. I'll probably never get to meet you, so just thought I'd send this to say thank you. :)

- RH.

Whoever says that getting tattooed does not hurt is full of it. It hurts! But my tattoo artist buddy Walt Clark is one of my favorite’s to get tattooed by because he is fast! I have been wanting to cover up a tattoo for a while but just never had time and never in New Orleans. So since I was here it was time. Here is the gallery of the tattoo time.

WOOF!!

Carlos here. Hope things are going really well for you. I
don't think I have yet congratulated you on your AVN Award so
Congratulations!!! I'm absolutely proud and thrilled for you.

Buck, I have a question for you Sir. My very masculine leather
Daddy (who is gay identified) is working through his issues of
me being a gay transman. Like you, I'm very comfortable with my
pussy as I see it as masculine and male as any other part of me.
To help him along, I told him to pick up your movie Cirque Noir
and he finally watched it 2 days ago. He was completely
overwhelmed with what he saw (he's never seen my pussy since
we've been involved) and blown away. Seeing you just added
another dimension to our relationship and I've encouraged him to
visit your site. I want to share what he wrote me:

"I watched CIRQUE NOIR. I found it and sat through the hole
thing. I'm feeling like I have missed something and not sure
what it is.

The over all film is great. Buck Angel. Lets just say that
problem no longer exists. I got very hard watching the last two
scenes with Buck Angel in them.

I'm so proud that you have someone like Buck to look up to.

Your Daddy feels very.... not sure right now. I'm stuck on
WOW!!!!"

Anyhow, my question is whether it would be okay if he contacted
you to ask you a few questions. He asked me to contact you
about that. Where he is located (east shores of Canada), it's
very isolating with very few people to share his thoughts with
regarding us dudes who are proud of their pussies. The other
transguys he knows hates their body, which I understand, so they
are not very good examples. Plus since you're both leathermen,
he won't have to do a lot of explaining about our leather family
lifestyle.

Let me know your thoughts. I appreciate you taking the time to
read my email. Have a good one.

WOOF!
Carlos

Back from performing at Wasteland in Amsterdam, Got beat up by security, my plane was delayed because of the volcano eruption but all in all I had a fabulous time. Made many new friends and rocked the house. So enjoy all the photos from the show..

[View with PicLens]

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Dont forget to check out my exclusive members only section! WOOF

Where does one start with an email like this!? Honestly I am somewhat in shock and don't quite know where i even found information about you on the internet at all! To start, about myself, I am a straight female who was lucky enough to be born with the body i would have chose for myself (as in female born female). I acctually don't exactly "frown" at the porn industry, except that I don't believe a person in a relationship should feel the need for it. Maybe i should say if I myself am in a happy and sexually fulfilling relationship I myself do not even like looking at other people and am not sexually stimulated by anyone but my partner, and believe i should be more than enough for my partner also.... and so don't like porn if i find my partner in a lie to me after they said they agree with the "no porn rule".

Ok maybe I'm rambling. Porn is for some not for all, and I can be conflicted by my feelings towards it. What my whole point in emailing you was that i acctually think its quite an amazing accomplishment you have made. I would never enjoy the work you're doing for myself, sexually it would turn me off honestly, but you are the first man with a vagina to be famous enough that even a straight woman who doesn't look at porn has found out about you! I think that even if some people see moral issues involved in this, you're only trying to bring enjoyment to people, and recognition that men CAN exist even if they lack a penis or were even born without one or in your case born with a vagina! The fact that you are also an american, maybe you can effect a change in that sometimes closeminded country in their views on who is male or female (such as how some states require removal of female sex organs which is in my opinion close to torture at this time for some persons who wish to be recognized as male.... at least until the technology is greatly improved).

Again just good job on what you're doing, and most especially in that you are making yourself happy. It might not mean alot from some random stranger, but maybe just the fact that i am a female born female, totally straight (even if i wanted to be lesbian to make things easier im very much not attracted to females), and raised in a not always open minded part of the world (Southern Ontario Canada), maybe this fact might be a nice little boost to your ego that people who chose completely different lifestyles than you can see the good in what you are doing. I hope it helps since i have seen how people who chose the same lifestyle as you may nay-say.

I'd love to get a reply from you if at all possible. If not im just hopeful you acctually read this and at least sends positive feelings.

Best of luck in all your future

Hey, Buck,


I saw a bit about you on the TransitionalMale site, and I wasn't really happy with some of the negative comments you were getting. I thought they were really unfair. I decided to visit your site and learn more, and while I can't really say I'm a fan of your work (just not my sort of thing), I want to say that I am a fan of yours. I think that you've got a lot of guts to be doing what you're doing and leaving yourself open to criticism like you are. But I agree with you that there never has been anyone out there representing us and our sexuality the way you do. I watched your Q&A on your site today, and I think you really summed it up perfectly when you said it's not just about what's between your legs. I think that what you're doing is going to help show other ftms (and non-trans people, too) the same thing, and that can't be anything but helpful. Don't listen to anyone who tells you different.

Yesterday I had the honor of shooting with photographer Carlos Batts for the cover of the magazine Sexis. It is a magazine put out by Eden Fantasys. I met with them while in NYC last month and will begin to some work with them online having my own column. They are super cool and big supporters of my work.

I got to shoot the cover with hotty!! April Flores. These photos are going to blow everyone away. So I got some behind the scene shots here to post for you now hope you enjoy.

April Flores and Me

Make up artist and hair!

While shooting my friend Justine Joli dropped by to say hi and we are talking about shooting something together! How fucking hot would that be.

Justine Joli and Me

My friend Gram Ponante dropped by the set to interview us for Fleshbot. Check it out

WOOF!!

My trip to speak at YALE was so great. The minute I got there the girls from SWAY (SEX WEEK AT YALE) had a car waiting for me at the airport to take to 2 hour drive to CT. Once there the girls met me at the school to show me my private room on campus at the Masters College. Already I was feeling like a king.

It was freezing and thank god I had just bought a new down jkt. Amazing the gym was right next to my room and was fully equiped to give me a killer workout. I was a bit nervous as I was speaking at the Master’s house in front of students and professors.

Master's Suite at YALE

So after finally having a couple days to rest and feel grounded. It was time to do my talk. Before the talk Master G had me over for a lunch with him and some of the students.I had been getting some threats on my visit to YALE so just to be on the safe side the school had police outside of every event. I just could not believe how I effect people so much they go as far as to threaten me!

After that it was time for the talk and as I walked from the dining room into the living room where it was jammed packed with not one bit of walking room. WOW I was so overwhelmed.

Master Tea Poster

I sat down in front of the students and Master G and I were seated in front in chairs facing everyone. It was basically a very informal story telling time. All eyes on me no time to get shy!!

My talk started with a thank you to Master G and the fellow students for having me at Yale to speak as I was very honored to be there. I had not graduated high school so in all my wildest dreams I would have never thought I would be speaking at Yale.

Speaking at Master's Tea

After the thanks I started with talking about my childhood and how it was not a bad one and that it is important for people to know that I did not come from a bad childhood and thus that is not why I do what I do or who I am. Then I basically went through my whole life story, My drug addiction, suicide attempts, self hatred into becoming the man I am. I think I really made such an impact on people at the talk. They were so attentive and just so interested in my story it was so powerful for me!

Then I showed and episode of BUCKING THE SYSTEM and after opened it up to Q&A. Got all amazing questions from everyone. Then after had people lined up to take pics with me and say thank you.

Later that night I was on a Sex Panel with all the hottest women in porn! Joanna Angel, Tristan Taramino, Madison Young and Sasha Grey. It was moderated by my good friend and editor of Fleshbot Lux Alptrum. The panel discussion was centered around our work and how we are breaking down the norms of waht people think are porn and sexuality and gender. Great panel.

Sex and Gender Panel at YALE

What an amazing life I have:)

Check out some of the other posts made about my trip to YALE. Not everyone thought it was a good idea! But that was why it was so powerful for me to speak there. I have broken down some of the walls and hatred that people have around people like me.

http://www.homo-neurotic.com/2010/02/19/ftm-porn-star-buck-angel-speaks-yale/

http://www.midnightatyale.com/2010/02/more-than-your-average-transsexual-porn.html

http://www.yaledailynews.com/news/university-news/2010/02/15/transgender-porn-star-shares-story/

WOOF!!

Buck

Today I received this email and wanted to share..

Buck,
I stumbled on your website through a random chain of procrastination related web surfing. I’m sure you get supportive emails all the time from trans folks, but I thought I’d take a moment to let you know that there are us run-of-the-mill “breeders” :-p out there that support you and love what you’re doing. You have more balls than most men I know for putting yourself completely out there and educating people and promoting tolerance. Whether you realize it or not, and whether or not the results are immediately clear or may never be evident to you; you’re planting seeds of tolerance in people’s minds and hearts and you have my utmost respect and pride for that. Keep on keepin on!
N

This is an email I just received on my YouTube account about my Yale visit in the next day.It’s because of emails like this that it makes me so happy that I am going to speak. I often remember when I first started my work the ugly hate mail from the trans man community. So I just see how things have changed so much.

I will be posting daily from Yale( if I make it as it looks like the snow is shutting the east coast down)on my blog with pics!! Ok read the cool email below.

WOOF!!

Buck

Dear Buck,

I am a transguy at Yale. I wanted to say thank you for performing at Yale and tell you how excited I am that you are going to be educating my fellow students. I am a big fan of your work and have showed many friends your website to explain what a transperson after testosterone (and lots of hard work) looks like. I cannot tell you how excited I was to learn that you were coming to Yale!!! I also wanted to let you know how very grateful I am that you are willing to be so open about your sexuality and status as a transman. Your example has helped me to slowly come out to my family and friends and has helped me to see how beautiful my body can one day become.
However, I am very sorry about the comments you recently received from a Yale. I found it particularly disappointing and frustrating that a fellow student would write such hurtful things. Thankfully, those sorts of people are very much the minority at Yale. I am writing in part to let you know that there are many wonderful and accepting people at Yale that have made my college experience a very loving and caring one. I adore my friends and the queer community at Yale and I hope that you have a good time when you visit. Sadly, I will not be able to attend your event because I am abroad at the Yale in London program. I wish I could be there in person Otherwise, I would have been in the front row cheering. I wish I could be there in person, but I made my friends promise to go and give me a play by play of the event. Good luck next week!!!

Last year I had the pleasure of going to Minn. to the shop Smitten Kitten. Everyone there was so amazing and really took great care of me. I don’t post enough about them and how wonderful the shop is.

Today I ran across a cool blog post about my work and also my trip to Yale on the Smitten Kitten blog. When you read it you will see what I am saying about them. Please if you are in the market for some new sex toys or stuff please support Smitten Kitten as they are a small family run shop and these kind of shops are super important. They are community active and just super great people!

WOOF!

Buck

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